East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
