turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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