You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Nicole vs. Life
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Randomize
