whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Damn victory sex feels great
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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