yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
