how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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