I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
