so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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