so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
