Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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