whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
