I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
