Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Randomize
