Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
