bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize
