If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize