What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Randomize
