he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize