Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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