You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I stole a fireplace last night.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
