Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
