for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
