I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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