were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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