just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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