Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
