I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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