She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize