I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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