whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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