plz talk dirty to me
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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