You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
