HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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