??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
And the cops told us we were all naked.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Randomize
