friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
