it hurts more in the daytime
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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