in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize