he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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