Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
should my penis look like a turkey
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
