Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
