Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize