Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Randomize
