I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
