i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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