OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
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