If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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