Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
