Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
