Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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