So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize