Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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