Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize