a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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