What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
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