This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize