is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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