White coat. Heels.
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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