Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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