Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
