I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I bet he comes in French.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
