what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
