Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Randomize
