I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
