I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize