i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
