the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
