I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
