I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
