So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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